Jesus I stand for you

Being that I could not sleep, figured I would try and get out my thoughts so that I could sleep, possibly for an hour or so. Camp is what God is saying to me. Go to camp!

Dear Jesus,

See I have this amazing family and year round I am crazy busy with school but this is the first summer in 4 years that I am actually taking a break. First of all I get sick, probably always was, lucky to have made it with all the stress I put on myself. I should have listened to you Lord. I know I am stubborn and even though I am , you still continuously stand right there beside me. Since I was a little girl, you hugged me from above. Always wondered if you knew my pain. I now know that your promise to me would be revealed as an adult. I still can't believe I found you even after all the anger and stress i carried growing up. I don't think I realized just how amazing you were up until a few years ago. You still amaze me even today. I am surrounded by people all with different family styles, characters that take part in my real life story. I still have to wonder what you are saying to me about my father. This one particular situation is taking quite long but I hope that if I do trust again, this time it will be for real and of you. I pray for my dad. For my mom who lives alone, I pray for her too. I thank you Lord for blessing her with friends who love her and who take care of her back home.

Now on the matter of my not sleeping. Heavy on my mind is that I am nervous. Dave can't sleep when I am not right there next to him. He too has so much work stress and I am there every day as his listening ear to comfort, pray and console him. JD and I have so much to do. I wake up every day anxious to spend the day with him and the girls. I worry that while I am at camp, Michelle will not know what to cook, or will she be scared if it storms. Please don't let it rain. I worry that JD will wake up before Michelle and be afraid. I know I shouldn't worry but it is happening so I will put all this in your hands. I also worry that Dave will miss me especially since I will be gone during our anniversary. First time in 18 yrs., I will be away during our special day. I know you will bless us. Dave said to me that you were calling me to serve and that was pretty amazing when you could have called anyone but you asked me to serve. I love that man. Speaking of which, we gave this impromptu mini motivation for Krissy which did not go well. I just didn't know what to say. My hair was a mess, makeup smeared, and there I was on camera ala' bad hair day, bad look day. That was pretty enlightening. Me the perfectionist who writes things down before hand, sat there and said .........I just don't recall what I said actually but then at the end, Dave gives me a kiss, not a big kiss, just an I'm gonna miss you kiss. The kind of kiss I get when he gets home that says I'm home. My heart broke again, because I knew he was saying I'll miss you, but I am proud of you. I do hope Jake edits that by the way.

Then there is my friends. Some are broken, some are moving, some are hurt, some betrayed, and some lost. I carry their pain. Tonight I learn of yet one more family in anguish. Breaks my heart to hear that they love you and they are suffering. I know you see what is happening down here but Lord I pray that you will heal them. My heart breaks for those whose pain and grief feels unbearable. I pray Lord for all my friends, their hearts and families.

Oh and Lord, this camp thing. Okay. I will go and serve you and I will stand for you! A wise 8 year old said to me yesterday that "sometimes God has these tests and he ask questions to see if you will get it right or not, and its what you answer." JD is a blessing to my life. Lord thank you for him. You sent us a gift uniquely packaged to share with us. Thank you for Krissy and michelle. Thank you for picking me to serve you. Forgive me for being selfish.

Jesus I do stand for you and for all you lead me through!

Amen

18th anniversary planning

what an awesome day God has made. I am sitting here trying to plan an amazing 18th anniversary surprise for David since I will be gone that day. Thoughts running wild through my head about what to leave behind and how. Ideas are poring but nine that seem really exciting.

Will miss dear friends who are moving and realize more everyday that I am constantly blessed with Friends from God. Amen!!!!

Simply annoyed

What a night! I'm simply annoyed by the pain, the manner in which I have been let down by my body. How does this happen? Why to me? I had so many expectations for the week. I planned to finish the table, the boards, the lamp for my mom, the painting, repair the back door, paint the kitchen, plant a garden, and for three days I have done nothing other than be tormented by this excruciating pain on my back and now today it has traveled to my shoulder. not related but because I can't sleep straight so I try and sleep twisted to accommodate the area hurt which results in more soreness. On top of all this JD has family picnic today and that is very important to me. I've never missed any of his events. Dave has offered to go in my place and take the green blanket that we always use, his lunch and spend that time with him. Broken hearted I am but happy that JD will have one of us there. I on the other hand will be here at home trying desperately to stretch this mess out in hopes that tonight I may feel no pain. last time this happened it only took 3 days, well it is day 3 and what is taking it soooo long? Sitting here is now painful when it wasn't yesterday. Urkks me. Just simply annoyed by the whole matter. I want my life back!

Boring day. My back is out. Hurt it yesterday while spray painting the stools. Whatever I did has left me in severe pain. I couldn't even get in the car to drive Michelle to school this morning. was painful. Didn't sleep, cried last night, but dave stuffed me with Tylenol which just isn't helping. I think I'll get him to bring some Tylenol PM, or Aleve when he gets home. I pulled out a roast for dinner, I'm out of diet coke. Not good! JD is home with me. Had accident at school One more day of school and finally he will be home safe with mommy. I was saddened to hear about my close friends and their breakup. That just hurts my own heart. Krissy should be home soon and with friends. sounds like fun but also sounds like I need to fix snacks, maybe nachos. That would be easy. I was deeply touched when Brad said I cook take JD with me to camp since we didn't have a sitter for him, but looks like it all worked out. Mom will schedule doctors appointments for when I get back, Michelle will sit with JD and Dave will take them to work two of the days. Mom will come and sit for one of the days. Looks like I am camp bound after all. I feel annoyed because I am not able to finish the painting and the house repairs as planned because of my back pain. I'm not very good at not doing something. I need to be working. I look over at the unfinished tasks and it just frustrates me. God please relieve me from this pain so that I can continue my work.

JD's series of unfortunate events

JD has had a series of mishaps since my time off from school. During recess he ran into an electrical box that left him with a nice bump on the head. This weekend he visited a friend and fell off a slide, got the air knocked out of him and a sore back. Today the school nurse called with a kiting accident. seems someone else's kite fell and the string landed on JD's neck and as the child pulled the string, it cut his neck leaving a nice big gash, burn. The heat and sweat didn't seem to help the situation. I therefore did what mommy's do and went to school and brought him home to put an ice pack on it and medicine. Teacher however said not good reason to take him home. wellllll. I think not.

Inspiring thought

So many women today were not taught how to run a household efficiently while in the care of their mothers. God gives guidelines for how a virtuous woman lives. Proverbs 31 is an empowering look at the role of women. Not only is a virtuous woman righteous in the Lord, but she is a loving wife and mother, a smart shopper, a seamstress, a gardener, a good housekeeper, and trains her children with wisdom. Her husband appreciates her and can praise her to his associates and friends because she is worthy of praise. Is this attainable for the average Christian woman? Absolutely! All things are possible through Christ. We can all be "Proverbs 31 women."