math teachers

Math should not be stressful yet these poor kids are stressed out so I will write in their frustration because it is just not fair!!!! Krissy is expected to grasp a lesson without a resource, - a math book. Lauren will be tested on Physics not yet taught. I am just frustrated for the girls.

Now I must tackle new theories of a new college, and learn to change the way I think psychologically speaking. Yuk. Just when I got all the theories, now I must re learn new ones because the ones I was taught just don't match mental health.

On another note, Dave is home and it is nice spending the evening with him. Tonight we are watching prom night with Lauren. Our adopted daughter is home for the weekend. Praying for all who are affected by the hurricane.

Someone hid my clothes today and caused me to be late for service. Other than this, I have had a pretty Good day.

overwhelmed

A few too many things I am proud of. I feel overwhelmed at times and it is difficult when God is asking me to do one thing but there are too many other things that are also in need of my attention. I love working with youth and it is definitely a part of my heart and my life. I enjoy the kids and I enjoy their laughter. Sometimes I forget that it is God calling me to fully commit myself and I get caught up in personal tasks. Seeing Krissy sing today reminded me that God will pull me through everything. I get stressed out when life pulls me in one direction and Krissy and Michelle pull me into more teen activities. I know that trusting God to steer me in this path that he is navigating me through, is the only way for me to live. Why I succumb to my way at times is a part of what makes me unique. I truly believe that God has called me to be better at who I am not just for me but for all who are around me. I can never be perfect but I can certainly show my love for Christ and open my home to kids who find my tiny little house fun. I still can't believe that our home is a fellowship home for all who enter, especially when they are coming from such amazingly ginormous places. I am constantly amazed by humbling learning experiences like these that teach me about what is really important. It is the most humbling experience for me to see them make themselves at home, eat our food, never criticize our tiny shack, but rather share an amazing fellowship with each other. Christ is present and Dave and I are deeply touched by these moments. I must be honest that I am worried with Grad school, Home schooling JD and my family that I might feel strained and overwhelmed so prayer would be nice. Not sure how the new changes will affect us in our home.

Proud of me

Today was amazing. with it being the second day of homeschooling, I think all went well. My mom brought JD a really cool student desk and now we just need a chair. I think the best part of our day is bible study. Michelle suggested we also do devotionals daily so i will get more details from her on how to best do that. I am feeling quite blessed with my life. Last night I was touched when Dave turned to me and said: " I am so proud of what you are doing." Tear. he's proud of me. He said he admired what I was doing for JD. I am now a member of the local Home school Association so we can start participating in the local events. I can't wait for JD to get out there and make friends. God is working in our lives and studying bible with my son and language, math, etc.... is just such an honor and a blessing.

A day is a blessing

day one of being a homeschool mom. Amazing, exhausting, motivating, inspiring.................... I began at 4 a.m. with eyes wide open. Thats a laugh. No clue as to why I woke up at such a time but have it so, I was up. By 6 a.m. tacos had been conjured up and breakfast was served at 6:40ish a.m. By 7:15 all 3 kids had eaten, Dave as well and the day began. I started my bus route of driving two gorgeous girls to school. I am quite the bragger when it comes to my girls. They are seemingly beautiful. Krissy with her amazing tan and new haircut. Wow she looked amazing. Michelle has blossomed into a darling baby doll. She is also breathtaking. Both with nice crisp clothes, new shoes, and Krissy with a new necklace that she treasures and a charm that signified a friendship with two of her male BFF's. That's right Sissy has male BFF's and tons of girl BFF's. JD and I started class around 8:40ish. That went really well. We worked hard till 3;30ish. I like the ish as you can gather by now. Any who, I did pretty good if I do say so myself. We began with Bible and that is how days should begin ---------with God! We flew through Language, Science, Spelling, Poetry, History, Math, Journal writing.......... Then 3:50 came around and it was time to load up JD and head to Kaffie. What was I thinking leaving 10 minutes early. Traffic was ridiculous. Of course there were the dads waiting outside for their newly 6th grade children. so cute. I admire those dads. Which brings me to the drop off at King High School this morning where i was touched at seeing a daddy video taping his son as he got out of the car. Must have been his first day in high school Aawww. So sweet. I truly admire love like that. I married a man like that. So back to the car chaos on Lipes. Not at all enjoyable to say the least. It was atrocious. Simply atrocious. Finally wandered up Michelle and then a 40 minute drive to King. Traffic was unbearable. I picked up Krissy and Becca. then we listened to stories of teachers, of boys, of lunches, of paperwork, of stuff needed, of purses, of shoes, of jeans................ I love high school talk. such a joy! Then we made it to HEB to pick up a cake for Krissy, then the bank, then home to finally possibly dream up perhaps a nap. NOT! A nap was just not feasible. So, I was joyed with Krissy in my room, simple talks that make me happy to be a mom. When all of a sudden we were surprised by two lovely gentlemen who made my Krissy glimmer with happiness. It was her BFF's Grant and Jon. so sweet those boys. We just adore them. They enjoyed cake and then ran home to do homework. dedication! Important! Now I am enjoying a diet coke and then in a few i will complete signing a trillion kaffie Middle School papers and possibly just possibly, get an organized plan for tomorrow. Good day, Great blessings, Peaceful inspirations and joyous teenagers + a dog, a hamster and my JD. These are all blessings that I smile with joy because God has touched my day, my life and my heart. Today I sing praises.

Transitions

Transition is not something I grasp with a willingness but it is something that seems to coexist within my life at this time. I am puzzled, maybe frazzled by the confusion that is within my heart as to what exactly that all entails and what it means to me. How it effects my kids, how it effects me personally and how it effects my focus is still on the median. This blog is completely vague as are my questions about what all this means for us? I have no clue. All I know is that transition is not my favorite part of life. I personally like things to remain as they do and just exist as they always have. That's all.

My week of chaios, Gods love for me

So Friday night we had this rock band party and it was so amazing! I had played before at Chelsey's but Dave and I got to play it finally by ourselves and man was it awesome. I had so much fun on electric guitar. I sang all night. Sad I knew all the songs from back in the day. I even rocked out on guitar. It was just what the doctor ordered after having a week of unfortunate events. Started out with one week left for graduation. Then the car doesn’t start. Turns out its the battery so we buy one. Then I have non stop assignments with three days left to get it done. Group projects. Those don’t always go very well but turned out I got it through it, then I am at presentation day when I decide to try out the CD prior to presenting about an hours time left before it’s my turn and the CD doesn’t work. Cratered!!!!! I am cratering by the moment. SOOOO I leave the classroom, leave the campus, drive home going faster than I should have been, make it home in 10 minutes, a normally 20 minute drive, then I ransack my room for the USB drives I have, but wouldn’t you know it they are missing.........Arrghhh!!!!! At this point I’m crying mad. So JD starts praying, Michelle was busy, so I take my instinct phone memory card, attach it to the computer, remove all the data I have on it, then I transfer all the movie files about 21, a power point, and font files to my cell phone. I rush back to school, and 20 minutes later I am up. I insert my cell phone card and it worked. I was so relieved that I made it through that morning. I had all my friends and youth praying that morning as it was Grant Melson who stayed up the night before helping me get things done, editing movies. I just don’t know what i would have done without the youth there with me moment by moment. And when I say moment by moment. They brought me food to this corner I had been attached to for a week finishing up assignments, writing papers and somehow the girls sensed when tears were about to erupt. I was like a crazed emotional being with an abundance of stress limited time and deadlines that were approaching too quickly. One evening Chelsey came in and asked if I wanted some dinner. Sweet. Grant said mamarie, its almost over. Jon Hadden was amazing at sending me text jokes. Becca and Chelsey prayed and when I cratered, they cratered with me. Okay so then I present, I rush home, room is a mess but I am on 3 hours of sleep, its Tuesday now and I begin finalizing the next presentation for Wed. morning, that goes well, drive home with the idea that I have completed my research paper, two presentations, done the study guides all tucked away in my cornered computer cubby. BUT NO!!!!! That would be too easy. I walk into my room thinking I could probably take 15 minutes to close my eyes but NO, the computer crashed with all my notes from the semester, all my finals study guides, not to mention all my other important data. Okay. What to do but cry and more praying. This is the week that God was my bestest friend because he held me up like you wouldn’t believe. One day till finals and and three days till graduation. Turns out costing us $450.00, so there went the shopping trip I had promised the girls to San Antonio with a graduation dinner at PF Changs. Sorry Becca, Chelsey, lauren, Krissy and all the little sisters. : ( Then we had a $1500.00 tuition bill due that Friday which was already a struggle. But wait, there’s more!!!!!!!! Apparently I haven’t had enough. My father is suddenly leaving his wife and wants to move in with me. Are you kidding me? I had to say no. I haven’t seen my father in months, see he isn’t allowed to see us because his wife says he is married to her and he had to choose long long time ago so he chose her and her son. Then I hear from him and he needs me to take him in. I am suddenly pressured by the prodigal son and the bible telling me that i should take him in no matter how badly he hurt me and my kids. BUT I just couldn’t do it. SOOOO I haven’t heard from him in days and again as always it will be months. If that’s not enough, I have high blood pressure and on two of those days I had to take my nitroglycerin which i hate taking because it makes me nauseas, and sick and I didn’t have time to be sick, but it was heart attack vs. sick and --——sick won so I am sick to my stomach living on coffee and popcorn. The good news is coming. On Thursday several youth girls slept at the house went with me to class and were right there with me as I walked into my first exam, then the second exam and it was over!!!!!! I had completed my Bachelors degree in psychology. Yay!!!!! So we head home make tacos, eat cake, and enjoy a movie. I love these kids. They are little angels! So then Grant says lets have a Rock band party. I say that sounds great probably what i needed. oh and Lauren has been with us now 2 days so we are having a great great time!!!!! So Friday, Richard, Grant, Jon Hadden, Chelsey, Lauren, David, JD & Michelle, Krissy...... plus myself all played like we were little rock stars. Krissy more than us. ARGGHHHH!!!!! The unit goes. Our air unit cratered and now we have no air conditioning. Jon’s mom suggested someone, i called him next morning and we got it fixed. We have air, the unit is overdue but I’ll deal with that later. The car is fixed. I graduated cum laude. Mr. Melson brought me the paper with my name in it. He is super sweet. Oh forgot the family Friday movie which was not family oriented at all. Krissy chose it. I am too embarrassed to say what Krissy chose. Anyhow, all in all, we lost some money, struggled financially, struggled emotionally, had some fun, shed some tears, shared some laughter, and it is now Tuesday. I say that we have conquered the storm with Christ as my navigator. I could not have made it through all this without Christ and he sent me several teenagers to make sure that on days that i cratered, they would do something funny to make it all better. Being a part of their lives is a calling but sharing it with them is a blessing. Its funny last night i went to Jon Haddens house for taco soup and cake for his birthday and I was asked to sit with the grown ups. I never get asked to sit with the grown ups. i am surrounded by teens so much that JD says “ what happened to my mother?” “What have you become?” I could possibly be a 39 year old going on 16. What a rough storm it was. What a learning experience it was for me. God showed me so much in just that week. He also let me know that I had to just stay strong, faithful and trust that he was steering me towards calmer waters. I’m here. We’re broke, but I have an amazing family and church kids with parents who are always ready with prayer and hugs. My husband has been my rock. Wow, has he literally lifted me up this week. He pulled me through it all and JD prayed everyday with me. My son is a romantic and he has the most amazing heart. I love this kid. Thank you God for how you have blessed me with so many hearts. Now I get to take two weeks off, spend it with the kids, and just enjoy some rest and relaxation. Any ideas for planning a party for Krissy let me know. I am throwing her a 16th birthday party. But ssshh. she doesn’t know. Grants birthday is also next and I’m excited about that. Sometimes we go through really tough times when it feels like you are under attack but I know for a fact that when you believe in God that there is a rainbow. you just have to be patient and in the meantime lean on those who love you for support. I have great friends!!!!

God is my bestest friend

If ever I had a day that was worthy of writing about-- it would be today, this week, this month......... Wow! Words can not seem to describe the error, the hurriedness, the struggles, the emotions, the exhaustion, the craziness, the mishaps, burdens, let downs, prayers....................

This has been the final week of my completing this Psychology degree that has tested my every ounce of energy, my faith, my commitment, my dedication, my belief that God will carry me. God has carried me like you have no idea. God has taken my struggles and has showed me that if I just trust in him, that he will take care of everything. I had two group projects. both of which didn't go well, group wise. I ended up doing some hard work and on one project, did the whole 'group project' alone. With no sleep but a couple of hours a day and I am NOT exaggerating, I truly have not slept in days for over three hours. -With little energy, lots of emotion, many tears i managed to call on friends for support. i called Grant Melson one of our youth kids to help me with a presentation video. he was eager and ready to help. Bless his heart! After two long days of quick hard non stop work,at 2 a.m. I switched gears to studying for final exams. I show up to class on time coffee in hand, then on break decide to insert my CD into the player just to have it ready for my presentation. Wouldn't you know, it DID NOT WORK! I panicked and that is stated mildly. What to do? I decided to sneak out, rush home as if on a very long potty break. I ransacked my room for my USB case which surely would have a large enough usb to add files, power point and movie files. of course USB is nowhere to be found. My room is destroyed, i broke my desk drawer, literally the door cover came off. At this point I am in tears. My day is over. I am thinking this is it! So i stop my crying, calm down, pray a little more, really ask for God to intervene because i am not doing a very good job of things on my own. It then hits me that I have an iphone. Soooo I take the memory card out which is large in memory by the way, remove all music and pictures from it. Sad. More tears! Then i save my power point to the phone card, along with 21 movie files and music for power point file, and it saved it all and it fit perfectly. I then prayed, grabbed my phone transferring device and drove right back to school still in tears. Walk in, look down so I don't make eye contact with anyone and take my seat. 20 minutes later, Dr. Seidel says you ready. i say yes sir. i at this point don't know if it will work but i was trusting God's decision. Wouldn't you know it worked. it WORKED!!!!!!!!! I was so thankful, relieved and joyed. I know that when God says calm down, stop, breathe, listen, hear me, pray, come to me, he means it! He ain't fooling around. I have but three days left of this mess I'm in but God is amazing and he is mighty and he is wonderful and he is GOD! Now I am off to Starbucks to study hard for finals and prepare as best as I can. God is love!!!!!!!!!!